Mi Corazón

It’s already mid-spring but this late winter nip seems to linger…

Breezy.  Chilly.  Gloomy.  My nights and days in the Goldfields have been always like this since you left.  Ever since you left me.

While desperately longing for your presence, all I could do is to wish; to wish that the sun will finally find its way out and start shining— not only to brighten my days but to, also, keep me warm!

Absurd as it may seem, your warmth as we snuggled up was a shelter of my heart.  A sanctuary that was destroyed by the ruthless storms of your goodbyes.

That heartbreak was drowning!  I almost believed that I lived no longer until I felt my heart beating…

Yes, it is still beating only for you.




.

Drenched

Things don’t always happen according to plans, he thought.

Just ten minutes earlier, the late afternoon, mid-springtime sun was boasting of its splendour and the blue sky beyond was visible through a huge hollow of low, thin, and fast-moving white-grey clouds hovering above Lake Weeroona.  The weather had been unfriendly for almost a week now—there were heavy rains and flooding but the condition a little earlier seemed to have gotten relatively better.  So James decided to run around this beautiful ornamental lake as if making a bold statement that he’s serious about his goal of shedding those pounds he’d gained over winter.

But after taking a few trots down the pathway, a strong gust of southeasterly wind started blowing; the cloud cover suddenly changed—it had gotten darker, instantly brought unexpected showers and freezing temperature around this man-made reserve.

James stopped running and stood on the boardwalk gazing across the lake while allowing himself to get drenched.  The people in the park—men and women, including the children on the playground nearby seemed to have vanished into nowhere as they quickly sought refuge from this unforeseen cloudburst!  All that’s left were flocks of Australian white ibis braving the rain and cold, perching on the sycamore sprigs and on the Japanese bamboo culm down the grove.

Now soaked, James closed his eyes and took a deep breath, unexpectedly inhaling the foul stench of ibis dung instead of fresh air!  Though that was much stronger, the smell reminded him of petrichor—that earthy scent emitted as the rain drops on a dry soil after a spell of drought.

Like this continent Down Under, James’ solitary existence had been through constant drought and flooding… It’s certainly uncertain; it hadn’t always gone according to plans.  His physique had gotten thoroughly wet now, almost frozen—pretty much like his spirit that’s been dampened by those unexpected storms in life.

.

Midsummer Wish

Hundreds of tiny lights were glittering over the lawn!  As I gently sipped the red wine while sitting in one of the rocking chairs on the spacious front porch, I knew they were fireflies that, like me, were trying to find their way through the balmy midsummer evening.

A live band was playing in the backyard-- entertaining the partying crowd over there but the sound was gentle enough for my eardrum to handle.  I was alone but didn’t mind the seclusion.

Gazing across the road, I noticed that there were actually thousands of fireflies around-- swarming and sparkling over the lush soybean field!

I could only wish you were here!  We could've enjoyed that beautiful sunset together... that lovely vista as the old, red family barn gleamed in the rays of the setting sun, casting sharp shadow on the little vineyard and its adjacent cornfield.

Oceans away, continents apart...  I couldn’t stop thinking about you.


.

Parting Ways

I wish this is only a nightmare... or a page on a novel manuscript of my life that I can simply tear away.  But this is real, I am certain... this is not a dream.  This is where we part ways!

Why can't you stay?  Why can't I make you stay?

All I can see now is a silhouette of yours-- gradually fading away in the dense, winter fog.  Amidst the softly falling flurries that's been filling up your foot tracks, here I am, left standing alone, watching as this heartbreaking scene is unfolding before me.  Absolutely crushed, I am, like the snow beneath my sole!  All I have now are those warm memories of ours-- flickering like these vintage street lamps through the early evening snowfall.  

Good luck on your new job assignment and may you find someone to love somewhere out there.

Letting Go

I KNEW THAT THIS WOULD happen but I just didn’t expect it to be so soon!  You’re moving overseas to follow your dreams, unaware that there will be a lonely heart left behind.  Australia will never be the same again.  Never!

I’m one of those sycamore trees lining the streets of the city of Bendigo—whose patchy yellow and brown autumn foliage has been thinning out for more than a couple of months now…  Nights are getting longer, and the days—cooler and dull.  Like the season of fall that’s coming to an end, I couldn’t hold it off; I couldn’t make you stay.  No.  And the thought that I will never have the right to do it has been making it hurt even more!

It won’t be long until these leaves that have been holding on to these sycamore branches will fall off… Even the frost in the morning couldn’t hold them back; and that only a puff of a crisp winter breeze could blow the final leaf away!  

Unlike the bare branches in winter that promise a new life in spring, mine will surely gonna need pruning when you leave. 

.

Sunset Safari

HOLDING MY 7mm-08 CALIBRE RIFLE, I was crouching, walking slowly and moving quietly through the thick eucalyptus woodland.  I’d deliberately stop to look around and would proceed carefully while stepping on top of a pile of soaked fallen leaves and branches.  I was trying to avoid disturbing the magpies that must’ve been seeking refuge in the warmth of the canopy after the heavy autumn rain earlier this afternoon.  Having been exposed to quite a few hunting safaris in Africa I knew that birds taking off would scare the game animals away.

She was following right behind me, dolled up in my other pair of camo-foliage suit—awkwardly mimicking my steps and posture.  I extended my right arm and using my palm, I gave her a signal to stop walking.  Then I peered through the gum tree branches hoping to see a herd of deer but what I saw was a vast and lush lucerne paddock on the other side of the fence and a massive flock of sheep grazing farther afield.  There were no deer...

Though obscured by a few streaks and bunches of hovering clouds, I knew that the sun was setting behind.  The sky above the western horizon had been gradually painted with magical shades of pastel orange and black—a beautiful remnant of that watery vapour that decided to keep sailing up there after the rain.

“James, can we sit down for a moment?  I feel so exhausted.”  

We crossed the fence, and sat next to each other on a small bed of rock.  I laid my rifle down beside me and wrapped my arms around her.  She rested her head on my shoulder.  Underneath the mud-covered sole of my hunting boots I could feel the drenched soil beneath the dewy carpet of lucerne.

A flock of wild ducks instantly flew low over the man-made canal next to the paddock—creating some moving silhouettes against the final glow of the day.  Then she broke the bad news to me!

“I only have six months to live; my oncologist discussed the test result with me the other day.” 

I was lost for words.  I didn’t want to lose her!

I looked straight into her eyes and I noticed the gleam of the scarlet sky reflecting off her pooling tears.

A cool, gentle breeze swept through.

.

Fallen...

An excerpt of an entry from Rogelio's diary a year ago: 

10 January 2015 

It’s my fault.  I was the one who started making those friendly advances just for fun, incognizant of the fact that I’ve been digging myself into a hole. 

My playful behaviors have naturally unveiled your kindness.  Those regular SMS exchanges that have eventually become more and more frequent... and your casual invitations to hang out together have made me realize you have a good heart.  And now I have fallen into the pit—I myself have dug! 

Like a drum in my chest, my heartbeat’s been gradually getting stronger yet still seems not loud enough for you to hear.  Now that we’re friends, how can I tell you that I’m honestly longing for more than that?  

.